There's always a breatfeeding answer to a breastfeeding question

I heard this on morning tv during the week and loved it.  How many new mums are told and re-told "Ah uve done your bit", "just give them a bottle" "an infection, ah why would you put yourself thru that, would you not give a bottle so you can get a break!" "he doesnt do ANY night feeds"...........

These comments really do get the bubbles going in my tummy.  While chatting to my wonderful Public Health Nurse during the week she spoke about how many mums come in with bottle feeding problems.  Babys not tolerating the milk and puking it all back up.  Over feeding issues.  Colic.  The list goes on.  And no one tells them not to bottle feed.  

On my first I was so eager to nurse him.  I found it very painful.  He never seemed satisfied.  And would drink a 4oz bottle after a marathon feeding session.  I had absolutely no support system, no information apart from the usual leaflets they dole out in a maternity ward.  And i truely felt I had no where to turn with all the questions I had.  Am I doing it right, is it supposed to hurt, why is he still hungry.  I gave up at six weeks.  I dont normally like this phrase in relation to nursing, but it was a battle I felt I was fighting, and I was losing, so I did 'Give Up'.  This left me very sad, with an awful feeling of failure and like I was broken and had let him down.

On my 2nd I was determined for it to work.  I knew I wanted to feed her as soon as possible after birth, I knew skin to skin was very important and so was rest and plenty of food.  In the first week the house was bombarded with visitors and I was very tired.  I would sit and wish everyone would go away and leave us alone so we could get to know eachother and see wat worked for us.  Feeding was extremely painful again, but because I had the same the first time round I thought this was normal, or I was extra sensitive.  S was alot of work and nursed 24/7 until the day I 'Gave Up'.  Again I felt cheated.  I had stopped before I wanted to.   I had gone on holiday for 2 nights and left her with my sister.  I have always had trouble pumping so had left her with formula.  I came back to a happy little girl.  She fed at nite, thru the nite and maybe in the morning but once I came home from holiday she had no interest in the breast during the day.  And did seem more settled on the bottle.  So I went with it.

Now here is where the story changes, 

Because S was always quite fretful and needed alot of attention, it left very little time for M so i trawled the internet for solutions.  In doing so I came across the most amazing bunch of women who I can honestly say have changed my life.  Their open hearts, generosity, sense of family and support have really got me through some days.  And along with this a new way of life.  Without these women (and the odd dada, lets give them their shout out too)  I would be a totally different mum to M and S.  And eventually to E.  In a desire for gentle parenting, keeping our babies close, and an easy life if I'm honest, a simple thing, A Sling, has made a world of difference to not only me and my family but my extended family too.  

In meeting these women I found out that nursing should NOT be painful, it is completely normal for constant feeding at the start and to trust your own body.  These three pieces of information would have completely changed my breastfeeding experience with M and S alone.  I was also armed with information going in to have E.  And even though she was in SCBU and was unable to feed until day 3 I was confident that once she had the energy to do so, between the two of us, we could do it.

I also found out WHY nursing was painful for us.  Why S was so fretful from the beginning and how to change it all so that I, Eventually, had the breastfeeding experience I knew I could have.  TONGUE TIE.  Plain and simple.  The answer wasnt to formula feed, supplement, give up, let someone else take over.  My boobs DID WORK.  I DID have milk, I COULD feed my babies.  It was so simple to diagnose.  ONCE ARMED WITH INFORMATION.  All three of my babies had Top Lip Tie and Tongue Tie.  It hurt because they couldnt latch on.  They cried because they couldnt get enough milk because they couldn't latch on.  I was nothing to do with me at all.  And there, in the bathroom of a hotel, all the guilt that I didnt even know I was carrying DISAPPEARED.

Tomorrow I have a whole boob day planned.  Meeting with 2 wonderful people for a chat and a cuppa with other  breastfeeding mams.  Then off for a day of trouble shooting and planning to see wat can be done in the immediate future to help making feeding easier, until I can have E's Tongue Tie sorted out.  

Imagine if all new mums intending to breastfeed was armed with all this information before the bubs even arrived.  I am sure the percentage of mums resorting to formula would hugely decrease.  Because, as the title says, There Is Always A breastfeeding Answer to a Breastfeeding Question.